I’m sorry that I called Savannah an “Asshole” behind her back today. I promise that I will try to be more patient and positive from now on.
You amaze me. First of all, your time management skills are incredible. We’re together 24 hours a day (literally, since you refuse to sleep in your own bed) and yet you still find time (when I’m not looking) to express yourself creatively. I never would have thought to smear that red ink from your Valentine’s stamp all over the freshly painted foyer, but now that I see the bloody contrast against the “Poetic Light” by Behr, I have to say, it really does make a statement. It’s a much more daring medium than that paper I gave you to occupy you while I mopped up the rainbow of spilled pixie sticks and money from my wallet you dumped all over the floor…which was so magical, by the way; I felt like I was cleaning up after a fairy who went on an adorable lil’ bender. Not since you removed your diaper and sh*t in the kitchen have I had such variety in my floor-cleaning routine. (Remind me to teach you that saying about where you eat, though.) Your jokes are really coming along as well. Like a week ago, when I made you get off the iPad so you did that slapstick bit where you hit me with it and yelled, “YOU NOT MY MOMMY!” Hilarious! You’re like a mini Lucille Ball in a diaper…except when you take it off in the kitchen and…well, I guess sometimes we all need to let things go.