I remember my first crush in Kindergarten. I also remember the first and last names of each boy I had crush on in subsequent grades up until middle school when I had THE BIG crush on one boy for like four years. He was the Winnie Cooper of my Wonder Years. I’ve had countless crushes in my life, most of whom never even knew. I suppose that is the gift of the combination of a big imagination and intermittent shots of anxiety to keep you practical.
I know some parents balk at the idea of little grade schoolers having crushes, raising eyebrows and saying how they are way too young for that, etc. But to these parents I ask, do you show your kids Disney movies? Continue reading
Yesterday my friend came over so I could glam her up for an event, as is tradition. She comes over before one of her fancy galas and we pop a bottle of bubbly and gab while I toddler-in-tiara her like the tyrannical stage mother I repress deep down inside me. Her teenage daughter was in tow yesterday and I was thrilled to find out I’ve been appointed her new Godmother. I even baptized her with a little Prosecco to make it official. Last night I sat down and wrote this to her and I’m sharing it here with permission.
Today was another delightful day on the set of Kansas City Live!
The morning did not get off to a smooth start. Continue reading
If you didn’t catch me on KCL Tuesday morning you can watch the clip. This segment went much smoother than the whole bathing suit/baby pool incident. One of the other people booked for the show that day was an Air Guitar Champion who goes by the name “Rockward Silence.” I mean, I thought I had blind confidence but this dude performed air guitar on live TV at ten a.m and he went.for.it. I was like, I bow to you, Sir, and your total lack of Fs to give. Continue reading
I know I said I’d post my TV segment details yesterday, but I have something else on my mind so that’s going to wait.
I recently spent a few days with our friends’ preteen daughters and they had lots of questions, everything from what I was like when I was their age to what I’d change about my appearance. They were so pure and yet so cautious of being judged. It got me thinking back. I once read something to the effect of, if you don’t have a weird friend, you are the weird friend. Continue reading
Sometimes in the pool we play trivia and the girls (Avery 6 and Savvy 4) take turns “impressing” me with their knowledge while we float around…
Me: Who’s the President?
Savvy: JIMMY FALLON!
Avery: Donald Trump.
Me: And who was president before him?
Me: And who was the other candidate besides Donald Trump? Remember? The woman candidate?
Avery: I don’t know…
Oh wait, yes I do! Celery! Celery Hilton!
Me: What state do we live in?
Avery: Kansas. Duh, Savvy America is where the President lives in the White House.
Me: I think you mean Washington DC.
Avery: Yeah. It’s super far away in Canada.
Me: Um, okay switching categories…What does Bonjour mean?
Avery: It means Hello.
Savvy: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!
Me: How do you say Hello in Spanish?
Avery (high-pitched): Yoo-hoo!
On the way out, Avery took a drink from the fountain and then helpfully notified the children and mother nearby that “This water fountain tastes like martini water.”
So I guess the take-away is that what Savvy lacks in knowledge, she makes up for in supreme confidence, enthusiasm, and volume. And I don’t know what to do about Avery, but I do know that my new alter-ego is a socialite named Celery Hilton who drinks martini water at the pool and calls out “Yoo-hoo!” to greet people Spanish.
Here are some of my favorite pictures from Summer Seventeen so far:
Today I had to take Savvy(3) to the doctor with me to get my blood drawn. She watched curiously and asked lots of questions of the nurse. As we were walking to the car:
Savvy: “Mommy, is that nurse going to keep your blood?”
Me: “No, she’ll send it to a lab.”
Savvy *knowingly*: “Oh. Which one?”
Me: “…I have no idea…”
*This is George: the lab. He is NOT a licensed medical professional. Please do not let him convince you otherwise.