Sh*t My Kids Say

Well hello there! I was gone for a minute but I’m back.

My absolute FAVORITE thing about my kids is how much they make me laugh. I usually fire off a quick post on Facebook to capture the quote before I forget it, so today I thought I’d share some of them here.

*For reference: Kevin is my husband, George is my dog, Avery is my (just turned) 5 year old and Savannah “Savvy” is my 2 year old.*

bridezilla

cookie

broken sippy cup

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A few things I’ve learned since becoming a Mom.

1. I never guessed how often I’d have to choose between personal hygiene and productivity (aka everything else). For example, today was a rare day when I woke up before my kids. With the glee of a child on Christmas morning, I tiptoed into my bathroom to put whitestrips on my teeth, a mud mask on my face, and bask in the (literal) shower of hot water on Redken deep-conditioned hair.

When I got out I heard a raspy little voice calling “Mooooom.” I expected a sleepy Avery to walk in, but instead I found my 3-year-old already nestled in a King-sized cloud of my white bedding, eyes still closed, telling me “It’s shushing time” in the snarky tone of a hungover business-class traveler. Um, where was this person when I was on my third round of “Hush Little Avery” last night, or as she refers to it, “the diamond ring song.”

2. Along those lines, I care more about how I look than before. This could be an age thing, but gone are the days when I would roll over to CVS in cotton shorts (remember Soffe shorts?) and a homecoming T-shirt with last night’s makeup. I have something to prove now. I’m someone’s mother, thank you very much.

3. I still have a “language” problem. I’ve managed to temper my expressions a lot since Avery started preschool, but yesterday her little sister was getting into a drawer of my makeup and I heard her yell, “What the HELL, Savvy?”

Apparently I have a little more work to do on this front.

I can’t wait to blog about my Galentine’s Day Weekend with my besties in Naples and I promise I will get to that as soon as I can, but for now, my boss is up and she wants mini pancakes.

I leave you with the best #TBT of all time, then and now: 10 Years Later.

TBT Naples